Broken Heart's Prayer

Lord, give me a heart
solely torn for you.

Be the surgeon of my soul
heal me Lord and make me bold,
to you only, am I sold.
Finished in this world of lies
rid of all selfish ties.

Toil align my steps and life
to always follow in the Light.

All to you my breath is owed
all for you is my love shown.

Bringing glory to your name
my triumph bring you praise, Oh Lord.

Every breath a gift, a mission
to live each moment driven
seeking to fulfill your will.
May my walk reflect your vision.

The Son chase away black night,
clarity to come (in) with the tide.

Worship may every action be,
obedience held in each word, each deed.

Striding straight, along the path
towards gates of pearl, unjust reward.

Unfailing justice befell none
saved by Grace and the Son.
Blood drawn in sin, hate
ultimate sacrifice of love, eternal life
not for a few.
Every heart broken by the Word,
handed over in love of you.

He who created land and see
knew my heart, gave all for me.
Sinner with a soul of coal
undeserving (accepted to the fold).







I am, it is, we are... a work in progress.

Letters, the Old Fashioned kind, the Best kind

"Orange is for sunshine and citrus and gladness
for tiger lilies and boldness in the dark forest"

(From Me, especially for You)


- Found on the inside flap of a letter written to me by my darling mother

S.W.A.G.

Saved
With
Amazing
Grace





Think back...
Think back to when you were separated from Him, in darkness and living in sin.
Now think about where you are now, living in light, free in His Amazing Grace.

Change is abounding when you give yourself wholly up to Christ, asking for the greatest gift known to man, a second chance. When one becomes filled with the Holy Spirit it is no longer up to you alone to change yourself to align with God's will for your life. The Holy Spirit's refining fire will expel the sin from your heart, giving you an undivided heart, aimed towards God's way and filled with a passion for glorifying the Creator.

Just today I had a conversation about how modern day Christians forget that humility is important while teaching Christ's story. So often as believers we focus on the failings of others to make ourselves feel worthy and forget about our own past failings. We forget about treating others with Christ's love and instead pass judgement. It is important to remember that even Christians have sinned. All have fallen short of the Glory of God. If the Christian community could learn to conscientiously practice living as loving and humble servants of the Creator that deserve death and use our past experiences with sin to better understand nonbelievers and connect with them in efforts to exemplify God's Grace, imagine what kind of loving and thoughtful community we could grow. All because we live in the knowledge of His GRACE.

Giving it All Up to Him

Last night at Village a wonderful woman that I am growing to treasure the company of more and more everyday decided to pray the prayer and give her life, give "it all up" to Him, our Lord. I was so blessed to be able to be there with her as she said those words, "God I give it all up to you." Her prayer was beauty itself and I found myself despite my best efforts in tears, mascara running down my cheeks, just filled to bursting with joy! I was so incredibly blessed to be able to not only witness the miracle and ecstatic joy involved when someone commits themselves to Christ but to be able to pray after her afterwards, to be a witness to her exclamation of joy for the Creator, that was the biggest blessing. I wanted to run up and down the streets screaming to the world, shouting, "She belongs to the King! She is Saved!" I am so incredibly proud and happy for her.

 Giving up control, leaning on faith is never easy, but she chose to believe in what she can't see, believe in truth and in her own words, "I felt him with me for the first time."

She is searching no more, she has found "the One"!

Atlas Hands

Atlas Hands

Take me to the docks, there's a ship without a name there

And it is sailing to the middle of the sea

The water there is deeper than anything you've ever seen

Jump right in and swim until you're free

I will remember your face

'Cause I am still in love with that place

But when the stars are the only things we share

Will you be there?

Money came like rain to your hands while you were waiting

For that cold long promise to appear

People in the churches started singing above their hands

They say, "My God is a good God and He cares"

I will remember your face

'Cause I am still in love with that place

When the stars are the only things we share

Will you be there?

I've got a plan, I've got an atlas in my hands

I'm gonna turn when I listen to the lessons I've learned

I've got a plan, I've got an atlas in my hands

I'm gonna turn when I listen to the lessons I've learned

I Have No Need Of Fear

Challenge me. Challenge me?
Seems lately life has been challenging me, in all sorts of ways. Ways that break my soul, my heart, my will, my confidence...My Pride.
I have these periods where I feel, I see myself getting better. Stronger, more obedient, smarter about life, closer to God. These moments, prolonged and void of struggle or temptation, of disappointment.
I know that they're not an illusion. I know I've changed, other people see it too. I am more patient perhaps, I'm more comfortable being alone, not so afraid of the future, I stopped worrying about every detail of my day and where the money for my next bill will come from. I trust a little more, but... Maybe not enough.
This last week I had multiple encounters in which, I was afraid. I felt attacked, uncertain, worried. I felt betrayed and even more frightening I felt pushed past my limit of comfort and I jumped back, violently. I broke, I doubted my progress, and I doubted the trust I'd placed in people. I realized, I don't make myself as vulnerable as I'd like to think. My walls are still up, they are large, dark, worn bricks, cracked at the seams but I continue to repair then rather than tear them. I am afraid of being the me that I'm comfortable with. In each situation I change to fit my idea of the desired me. I feel guilty for that but at the same time, almost justified. My past is larger than life, it changed me and how others will forever be seen by me. So many of my friends want to push me forward, into a mold that is expected for my kind. I don't fit, not yet. I want this future molded me, I am working towards it but I can't seem to move fast enough. These friends want more than I know how to give, more than I can trust myself to give, or maybe more than I can expect them to accept and understand.
I was told that my friends, my fellow believers are supposed to be my family. I am supposed to allow them to become my family and count on them, call them when I need something, tell them when something is wrong. I understand this idea, in theory but... What is a family, really?
All my life I grew up in a dysfunctional family, and we have grown even more so recently. My family was internally destructive, snide comments and manipulation was the currency growing up. I don't know how to ask for what I need, how to ask for help and even if I did I don't think I would. There is only one person in my life who has always played the role of family in my life, no matter the circumstance or what ever else came between us, I could rely on his consistency. I fully trust him. I am being asked to create a relationship like family, now, only months after arriving here, at this point, alone. It took years to create the relationship with the one person I know will always be family, how do I begin that process again with people I barely know, at a point in my life where me and God are the only things I can consistently rely on.
I can feel the fear rearing up again, pushing me back from the gray areas.
"Do not fear, for your God is with you", the verse plays over in my head. 365 time in the Bible it is repeated, "Do not fear".
 My God is a good God.

'"For I know the plans I have for you', declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future."' Jeremiah 29:11 My favorite verse. I need not fear for God knows the plans he has for me, and they are good. God is the one I can always trust, for eternity. His love endures, in Him, I have no need of fear.

Patiently Biding My Time

I am so used to being content in my single-hood and trust me, these feelings have nothing to do with Valentines Day being tomorrow (I've never been a fan of the holiday, regardless of if I am taken or single). Lately however I've been finding myself contemplating the idea of starting to date again. I've been single for over a year and a half now and although there were multiple times throughout this time where I did go on "dates" I never once found anyone I could be interested in having a relationship with. Maybe part of the reason I am considering obtaining a significant other now is because I've begun to give up my long term crush on the tall dark mysterious male I've mentioned before. Maybe I should find someone closer to my age...mostly I just want to be someones first choice again. I am tired of being the attractive red head sitting next to you in class that gets asked out on a date, I don't want to be with a stranger. I am also exhausted at keeping up the charade of mothering, considerate, friend and confidante that has all the perks of a friendship but all the downfalls of hearing all about the secret crush, how "I am too young for this, that, and the other, I'm just like a younger sister, I haven't experienced life yet and couldn't possibly be ready for a real relationship". Who could possibly know what I'm ready for or what matters to me more than I do, what does age have to do with being mature enough in my relationship with God. Most  likely this is all just my way of expressing that I am not willing to sit back and let my age and other's perceptions of me keep me from doing the things I want, pursuing a genuine relationship, making life choices based on my goals and desires. I don't want the petty things to  hold me back. I am capable of more than people expect or imagine. I am not ordinary, I am and historically always have been the person to break the mold and surprise those around me. I don't think the future me is much different than the present me, I did all my changing and maturing early. Earlier than expected, probably earlier than was best but I was pushed to it, by myself and by circumstance. I am now who I will always be, the only difference...one day I will not have to be content in single-hood. I will be able to put my energy into making that one person feel appreciated, I'll share my soul and be encouraged in a way that no one else on earth could ever do, I'll be more than myself but them too and we will create together another that I will love like no one I ever have or ever will again. My discontent stems from my yearning to love like that, a love that I do not yet know and have only glimpsed. God, I know has the timing worked out and  me, being who I am, an impatient and imperfect person am anxious to begin already. If one thing does change about me, I'd like to become more content with observing love rather than feeling the need to experience it. Lord, give me the ability to patiently wait for my time and in the meantime, enjoy, revel in, and be thankful for the beauty I witness and for your love. Let my heart be guarded until you see fit to give it away.

Resting&wRiting at Rembrandts

“Write what should not be forgotten.” - Isabel Allende

 

 

Sunday morning found me at Eagle Christian Church listening to a sermon on the authenticity and proof of the Bible's truth followed by a wonderful worship service full of passion for the Lord. Next I journeyed through the snow to nearby Eagle where I am now enveloped in the homey atmosphere of the coolest coffee hangout in town, warming my hands on a cup of Joe and enjoying each bite of my warm marionberry scone. I am wisely using this time to wind down and relax, away from the chaos of my home filled with young boys raised voices.

I finally have found some time to sit and update you few who read this on my recent going-ons. Most recently, as in today I am celebrating my best friend's birth. Today he is 19 and I rarely see any traces of the boy I met the summer after freshman year of highschool, now all I see is the man he is becoming and I am so very proud of him. Christmas was almost a week ago and this year it was full of family, friends, joy, and calm. My mother and I made a birthday cake for Jesus and we had a scrumptious dinner at the Harrell household.

Just last night my mother took me to Les Miserables to celebrate my upcoming birthday which I will not be home to celebrate. It was a beautiful movie, the depressive almost overshadowed the hope hidden within the characters but it was touching none the less. Unfortunately the main characters Russell Crow and Hugh Jackman lack vocal skill and access to a large vocal range, perspectively.

I also was able to see The Hobbit recently, only to be greatly disappointed in the lack of respect shown to Tolkien's splendid storyline, the director unfortunately decided the age old tale needed more violence and gore and didn't hesitate in making the necessary changes. A poor adaption of Tolkien's great work.

A few days before Christmas I was able to attend the picture perfect wedding of the most wonderful couple, a pair I met on Ballroom Team, my coach and his fiance'. I absolutely adored the wedding, everything from the music choices, the decorations, lights, bridesmaids lanterns instead of bouquets, and especially the foot washing ceremony were hearttouching, glorious, and beautiful.



Also recently (before my splendidly long winter break) my church, Resonate had our batism service which was a simply glorious event, overflowing with joy and praise for our Savior.

Resonate Babtism Service

So excited for all those who publicly committed their lives to Christ this past month! Pure joy, overflowing!

Another fun adventure from the past weeks was the event the acquisition of our Christmas tree brought about; while driving it home atop our car the ropes snapped and sent the tree rolling into

 the middle of the highway. Luckily it landed in the median and we were able to retrieve it during a break in the traffic, unscathed. It nows stands, still in our living room, as beautiful as ever.

 

This year I also had the pleasure of going to see It's A Wonderful Life at The Kenworthy in Moscow with a dear friend and then having a wonderful evening of conversation, coffee, walks through the snow, and a deed I recently found out is anything but legal, a snowball fight. I guess I'm becoming something of a criminal.

 



I'm so happy and blessed this holiday season, to be around family, dear friends, home, sleeping in my much missed bed, being loved by those around me. It really is a Wonderful Life and it turned out to be a White Christmas as well.

The week before Finals the Ballroom Dance Team had our Fall Preformance and it went splendidly, our follow coach called it her best preformance yet.I had so much fun with it and was so blessed that a few of my friends came to share in it with me. It will always be one of my most treasured memories, the first preformance on my team.

Above is the final dance and bow that we all participated in, led by Buzz and Jesse.
On the Right is the Zelda Waltz which went better than expected and was loads of fun learning, hopefully we will do it again. Below is the Foxtrot in those gorgeous blue velvet gowns.                      

 

                                  

 

 

Resonate had a wonderful Christmas party this winter and Santa even came! Here is the picture my Village took with him! We had so much fun, fellowshipping, eating, dancing, and listening to the RunAway Symphony band!

Here is a link to hear our amazing voices from Village caroling one Wednesday night!

Resonate Village Caroling

 

 

True love is not earned, it's graciously given.

 

 

 Fear is not Reality, it is Created by the Mind.       

 





Inspirational is the aim, hope they hit the mark.

 

 

 

 

Leaving you with Pooh and then some pictures of my family making ginerbread houses.

 

 

 

My Post all about Brady Scott Harrell: He dared complain I hadn't written about him!

 

This is Brady Scott Harrell (the one standing)

 

 

Brady is my best friend! He is in the Army ROTC.

 

 

 

 

Chalk Warfare 2.0

This is an awesome video I stole off his facebook wall!

 

 

 

 This is a picture I posted on Brady's wall. (It's true by the way)

 

This is a meme depicting something Brady has been saying we would do for the last new summer's that we never did. Brady- get on that.

                    This is another picture I posted on Brady's facebook wall, because I love him.

This is a picture of me and Brady the night before I left for college that his mother took. He helped me pack and load the car, like a true friend does. :)

This is Brady being awesome, as per norm.

                       This is Brady and some friends at Prom this year. Don't they look cool. haha 

This is me and Brady at Prom. He is super strong cause he stood there holding me like that for what felt like forever but hey, we got the picture!



This has been a Kelsey Symons blog post all about Brady Harrell! Now try telling me I never post about you Mr. Harrell! haha  :) I miss you best friend!

 

 

 

 

 



Adoption is the best (and only) option

http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fadoptionbug.com%2Fadoptingjude%2F&h=tAQGZfk5W


My pastor and his wife adopted a baby, Jude last August. They were with the biological mother through everything, were even present at the birth. Unfortunately almost one year later they are still trying to finalize the adoption! They are the only parents little Jude has ever know and they deserve to be done with this. Recently they partnered with adoptionbug.com to help fundraise money to finish the adoption procedures. You can buy shirts to support adopting Jude and support Adoption across the world! I love my pastor's family and baby Jude! I'm so glad that adoption bug gives support to families like theirs!

Adoption is the best (and only) option! It saves lives and provides families for children that would otherwise be alone. It protects the innocent from death and suffering (like abortions).

SUPPORT ADOPTION!!!!

adoptionbug.com