Why Do I Cry?

When I cry I tend to forget
I ask myself Why?
I sit in my bed
clutching my pillow
sobbing silently
so as not to disturb
my tears, especially my fears
are not worth notice
my self my pride
does not allow another
I can at times
be selfish enough to discover
Hope
Then I remember
and I cry
I sit and wish
wanting to remember
good and happiness
never close enough to notice
I hide behind
my uncounsious wealth
my self
I deem
too little
to deserve help
Why then do I cry
what goal do I look to
am I really as weak
as I lead myself to think
I am less
all the buildup leads
to a dark abiss
of nothing
I am empty
I have surrendered
I have lost
Then I cry
crypts of dead are all I seem
to lead my mind
in circles
around a central point
I miss the meaning
it's hidden in salt
lime streaks
along my minds walls
what am I still here
do my eyes still tear
am I really as meaningless as I seem
do I still dream
or am I gone
gone to a deeper place
to dark to be found
a lightless tunnel
perpetual drops of
saltwater tears