The Things You Remember

screaming vocies
flying cups
skin against flesh,
with a sickening crack
sobbing children
a bleeding lip
hushed arguing vocies
a door isn't that thick
a creak of a swing set
a free falling moment,
then thud on the ground
reality hits
laughter and smiles
well formed masks
hidden agendas
surrepititously stolen glances
forged passes
vials and casks
popped corks
lies told inside
family evenings,
in front of the tube
children running
a broken glass case
scars increasing
falling in love
corruption and deception
building up
confusion
stress
pain tolerence levels excede
these are the things
that i do not need
yet I am the one to which they feed
being left behind
used without knowing
left broken
on the inside
trying not to hurt others
even while i feel pain
scarrs along my wrists
is it i who did this deed
or was it a need
confusion and chaos
feeling misused
i'm as unwanted as a sack cloth
he over looks me
see me as preoccupied
my feelings are not really still that deep
but still i hear those awkward pauses
the turn of his nose
pressed against a bus back
pinned between his legs
fighting and kicking
is that his spit on my cheak
caught on camera
my shame and entanglement
the fight for my life
protection of a sister provided
me with this night
but no one steps forward
he's left to his own
scarred school days
dodging and ducking
struggleing like mad
brain contusions and swelling
am i the one who caused this
i was in on this fight
i caused this hurt
no it wasn't the first time
never again will I experiance these things
but everyday of my life I will feel them
like it's the first time
again
you better believe it
the things you remember aren't always true
but when it comes to the past
you know what you went through
you might not remember every detail
the things you remember
are the things you still feel
the things i remember
i'm still living through