I never felt comfortable on my birthday, sure as a kid I enjoyed it. I mean what child doesn't like a day without chores, loads of sweet things to eat, multiple gifts that no one else is getting, and extended play dates? I was the oldest child, my sister came quickly on my heels so I didn't get much time with my parents before the other kids came along, yeah, attention was wanted back then. It wasn't until I got a little older, became more reserved and okay with it (honestly it was probably my trust issues coming out at that age, not wanting to share anything too intimate with people I didn't really know, we moved a lot growing up).
As a teen I started throwing big parties, I was making long term friends and even though I still wasn't overjoyed about all the attention on birthdays I was still going to cease the opportunity to have a party (those are always fun). I always tried to keep the day of the party away from my actual birthday, which wasn't that hard because my birthday was usually the day school started back up again, or right before it. I didn't always tell all my guests the occasion for the party but word got around, I've had my share of awkward present opennings in front of groups, with more than a few people giftless (either from forgetting or not knowing about my birthday) but I prefered it that way.
Now don't get me wrong, birthdays are a fine and dandy thing...my problem is all the social faux paus that can occur when it comes to birthdays and present giving. I like parties, I like gifts, but I don't like when someone that I don't have a personal relationship with feels the need, the expectation for gift giving. Now a gift from my mother or grandparent, even my best friend, I can handle that. Yeah, I still feel awkward at times... accepting gifts and especially opening them in front of the giver is a hard art to master. I mean how do you react? Graciously of course, but how much excitement do you let show, or reign in? What if you really don't like the gift, but you are still expected to show enthusiasm over it.
I like giving gifts though, I've been told I'm a great gift giver. I always have a difficult time finding something and after I do I always have doubts about how suited it is for the person but I tend to get genuine positive responses and the fact that the people I give gifts to are the ones who compliment me on my ability to give good gifts doesn't hurt my credibility.
Now that I'm about to be nineteen I feel slightly diasapointed though, as a child growing up I always made myself nineteen in our games of make believe. Why I chose that age I will never know because now that I've reached it... I'm not sure what all the excitement was about. What am I gaining from this birthday except a new number to tell nosy people who focus too much on age and the sterotypes and preconceptions that accompany that number as it relates to a life span or the gap between their own equally meaningless number and mine.
I must sound so ungrateful to you, my reader...complaining about a day that only comes once a year... when I get free toys, people pay attention to me, feel obligated to be nice, and sing an obnoxious song off-key, besides shouldn't all the sugar make up for any awkwardness? It's a party afterall, a celebration of another year, passed by in apathy, most of it never remembered.
Please don't get me wrong, I am so grateful for my life, the people in it that care for me and, I them in return, I'm especially thankful for my growth in Christ. I think that is the real reason to celebrate another year passing, a birthday.
Celebrate the fact that you were born, not because you did anything special but because on that day a miracle occured, God created life, the only being that can do so, cause trust me, parents don't create life. They just throw together the ingredients and provide the place for it to happen in.
Parents do a lot, like raising children, acting selflessly in order to provide for their children, taking responsibilty for a life besides their own, but they don't create life, they usher it into the world.
Birthdays should be an acknowledgement of God's power and love. Hmm...maybe birthdays don't have to be that bad afterall.
Now to get rid of the song and awkward presents...
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